Thomas Wolfe (writer): "The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence."
We learn from the Bible that loneliness, even aloneness, was not God's plan for us: Genesis 2:18: "It is not good that man should be alone."
Man and woman were created to have fellowship with God and each other, but, through sin, became estranged and therefore lonely.
If the gospel redeemed us from the effects of sin, then why are we still alone and lonely? Could it be that the implications of the gospel are only partly known to us.
John 15:13-16
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.
16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.
Please note the following about these verses in light of your marriage:
1. The extent of the Lord’s friendship is sacrificial love: v. 13.
2. The effect of the Lord’s friendship is change: v. 14.
Note that Jesus is not saying, “You become My friends, if you do whatever I command you,” but “You are My friends, if you do what I command you.”
Our obedience is evidence that we are His friends, not the means by which we become His friends. Most Christians get this wrong and they get it wrong for most of their lives, and they live in defeat, running on a treadmill of works, in the hope that by doing the wrong thing, they will achieve the right end.
Are you doing it wrong? Are you doing it wrong in your marriage?
3. The expression of the Lord’s friendship is intimacy: v. 15.
God calls us friends: that is the nature of the relationship He establishes with us.
4. The initiative of the Lord’s friendship is His love: v. 16a.
We did not choose Him, but He chose us!
Can we exercise the love of God in our marriages by initiating love that demanding nothing in return?
5. The goal of the Lord’s friendship is fruitfulness: v. 16b.
Is your spouse reaching his or her full potential because he or she is loved by you?
“If the life of my spouse is barren and fruitless, is it because I am not loving?”
The disastrous statistics and the general unhappiness in most Christian marriages tells me that most Christians have a truncated gospel: it might be sufficient to get them into heaven, but it produces hell on earth. The gospel is a relational issue, not only a judicial determination by the Judge of the earth. But we don't get that, do we?
